"At this point in my life
Done so many things wrong
Dont know if I can do right
See its been a hard road
The road I am travelling on
If I take your hand.
I might lead you down the path to ruin "
At This Point In My Life - Tracey Chapman
I cant believe that there are some lyrics that are sooo fucking close to home its scary. I have made so many mistakes that I have become detached from my morals completely.
I do things now that would really emotionally destroy other people and I do it emotionless as a surgeon would slice away an infected leg with out flinching. I can squash a man in ten seconds with out realising the consequences.
I can lie with out dropping a stare and sometimes to the point that I have actually convinced myself of the lies. I am truly evil in so much of me.
An unstirred hate - A fucking twisted deadness in my heart - which is a whole lot more apparant after a drink or when some one angers me . I hate me when I turn into that woman - I hate her so much that I imagine punching her in her fucking false face.
"Hell hath no fury like a womans scorn" - should have read - "hell is fuck all compared to when Jackie get pi55ed with the world!"
I have punched, kicked, bitten, thrown things, cried, had temper tantrums and even my own partner has said he is terrified of me to the point he has imagined me killing him in a fit of fury.
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